Assignment #13

I think my essay has changed into a better one from peer review because once i got someone reading it other than me, i got very informative feedback and even more topics i can write about and expand my essay on. The process also gave me some difficulties on my thesis. I know it can easily be turned into a thesis that can have well over 12 pages wrtten on it, i just need help making a clear one. This is something that i was not surprised at because i always have difficulty making a clear thesis. Also, i was not surprised at feedback saying to make it longer. The problem i have with that is that i feel as if i could already explain everything with what i have. When i am revising it, i plan to find more sources. Hopefully some that go against my thesis, but so far i have yet to find any. Some questions i had in mind were on how i was going to expand it my essay because i am having trouble with that. Also, how would i be able to make a better thesis. That is probably what i am having the most problems with. And i also have questions on how to word my essay the right way to make sure it has a proper flow and doesnt seem like it starts things from random.

Assignment #14

I guess for this topic i could talk about how i ordered Axis pedals for my drum set. I am pretty damn excited for these since I've been playing some crappy pedals i got off ebay for $100 for almost 3 years... these are a huge step up from those POS. Unlike my old ones, these are longboards and have a direct drive. For those of you who have no knowledge of this, normal pedals have a pedal that ends with a small, flat board at the end for heel support. Axis longboards are just one long pedal with no board at the bottom which is ideal for the heel-toe technique. Also, the Axis pedals have a direct drive instead of a chain drive like most other pedals do. This in turn results as super quick and smooth response with no lag at all. Smooth as silk! These pedals are probably the lightest and cleanest pedals out there. Many metal drummers,such as George Kollias, are known for being endorsed by them because of that. Normally these pedals go for 600 bucks, give or take. But being the cheap polish man i am, i found a sweet deal for only 300 bucks off ebay! Hopefully ebay wont screw me over on these... otherwise I'm gonna be super pissed. But if anything, ill put them back on ebay and invest in brand new ones. There is only one way to find out if i made the right choice, but for now all i can do is wait. Once they come in and they actually work like they are supposed to, ill be melting every ones face off with my 250 bpm double bass. And of course, with triggers so i can get that machine gun sound!

Assignment #12

I think the most difficult part in my research process is creating a thesis. I know it is simple for some, but for some reason i just have trouble with it. While researching my question, i was not surprised that most of my results turned out the same. Most reviews that i have read about the Google policy say that it is a bad thing. Specifically that the people that have reviewed it all agree that it has gone too far. They now take their services else where. For example, instead of using Google to research things, they use search engines such as duckduckgo.com and blekko.com. Both engines are completely private. They leave no history or cookies such as Google. The users feel as if these search engines are more secure since they pretty much leave no traces. The most difficult part of my research is finding an example of how someones personal information was used for wrong doing. I have yet to find it, but that is probably because i have specifically looked for an example from Google. I would probably have better luck if i searched for an example that has happened from any web browser or any search engine. If i find any example of such a case, i can then just compare it easily to how Google has to power to do the same.

Assignment #11

I think one of my errors in writing is not making a clear thesis. Most of the time i kinda just skip it and continue writing my paper without one. Not really sure why i do this, but its most likely out of laziness. Another mistake i tend to make is that i don't exactly clarify my points/views. I tend to just mention it and don't explain why. Also, I've noticed that I use "I" a lot. Sometimes it becomes too repetitive and all the reader notices is "I believe", or,  "I strongly agree" and that's all that the reader can think of.

Research Question

My main research question that i have chosen is "Has the new Google privacy policy gone too far?" Where is the line drawn from basic information to personal information? As for the double entries, it didn't help that much on this specific topic, but it did give me a few good ideas on what i would consider writing about. I have not come up with a thesis on the topic yet. The only issues i can think of on this topic is trying to get the right information and trying to make it simplified and short. As for my "search terms" i could just find all of the info i need by reading Googles new privacy statement. I dont think i really need to do any more research since i would be able to read the whole statement through google itself. Unless there is certain words or phrases i do not understand, i will do further research into those. Other than that, i think i could get all the info i need just by reading the statement and breaking it down.

Reflection

Looking back at when i started this class, i personally had a goal of actually doing the work on time and getting things done. But then i started to get lazy and started to let things go. As far as my skills of a writer, i think i could actually show improvement if i put time into writing the drafts and doing the papers. I do think some things in class have helped me as a writer. For example, taking the notes/bullet points for the three articles made it a lot easier to summarize them for the paper. For my writing process, it hasn't changed much. I feel as if mine works for me, i just need to put more time into it. The only part of this class that i didnt like was these blogs..... they suck! Personally, they really dont help me much.

Assignment #6

The significant points in two of the three articles ("Too many people coming to college?" & "A Lifetime Student Debt?") is that students should not go to college, just for the sake of going to college. While going to college is a good investment, the person going should be aware of what they want to do. Otherwise they are just wasting their money for nothing. They have to find a specific field to go into so they don't waste their time either. Another big point is that students mainly get in high debt because they want to go to their dream colleges no matter what. On the other hand, in "The New Liberal Arts", the main point i would say is that a liberal arts degree is a good investment. According to the article, more that three quarters of employers recommend that college students pursue a liberal arts degree.

Is A Bachelor's Degree Worth it?

I do think that a bachelors degree is worth it. Even if it seems like a broad degree that almost anyone can get, it's a lot better than no degree. This also makes a resume look a lot better when applying for positions at any job. But personally, i would rather get a degree in a specific field of work.  For example, i plan on going into a computer science/programming field, and looking for a job with just a bachelors degree isn't going to get me much results. Most companies would probably reject me on the spot. While it is true that going to college has become more and more expensive, the payoff and feeling of success is greater. It shows a lot in a person that is willing to pay and go to school for so many more years than others. Many people argue that its not worth it because of the tremendous debt that can happen, but honestly the pay off is worth it. Most people that actually have that amount of debt is a result of their own poor decisions such as "absolutely having" to go to their dream school.  In the end, i highly suggest getting a bachelors degree. It will highly increase anyone's chances of getting a better job and as a result better pay.

ITS NOT FUNNY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p0QtJMKt1s&feature=g-vrec&context=G23e2793RVAAAAAAAADA

In this commercial/ad, i think the main message in this whole ordeal of events is that the best way to cool off from a hot tub that's too hot is to drink their product. The commercial gets off topic dramatically many times. From the swishing, swirling, and sipping of the drinks to the dramatic yelling and then apologies. It also seems to get people together since zach has flown down several times, even though he has complained many times before, in order to meet up with them and have a drink. It is all wrapped up in the end when there is text saying "In an absolut world friends would get together more often".

In my opinion, this does not really show off as a commercial to a product. Its only till the end that you realize it was supposed to be an ad for Absolut. This, to me at least, is so bad, that its good. This is the comical genius of Tim and Eric. The fact that Zach flew down there for the seventh time, and all of the other ridiculous reasons he is unhappy is hilarious to me. Great Job!

Why I'm in English 102

Honestly the main reason why i am in English 102 is because it's a gen ed class. I'm only taking it because it is a good class to take that is transferable. Since i am most likely going into a computer programming degree, English 102 is not on the top of the list of classes to take. But i will admit that it is a very good class to take because many degrees often require some type of an English/writing class. I personally don't like writing essays, but if i have to then ill eventually get them done. By taking this class, i will hopefully learn to become a stronger writer so i wont have to work on my papers as much.

Final Reflection

Looking back at my first post, the main reason why i was enrolled in English 101 was because it was a requirement. And my main goals were to become a better write and be able to understand and comprehend text more. I believe that i actually did achieve my goals. I have learned to write better because i have developed a writing process that works well for me. I dont think i would change these goals because there always is room for improvement, but i feel as what i have accomplished for now is good enough. Some weaknesses i would like to build up is probably keeping on topic. Usually when i notice a paper im writing is going to be too short, i just try to add whatever i can and sometimes it wanders off topic. And some strengths i would like to keep building is the amount of detail i put in my papers. I think it helps me be a better writer by not leaving things out and making the reader question things they arent supposed to.

Revision Essay

I am choosing to revise my 4th paper (argument analysis). Some strengths about the paper include its amount of detail. It explains everything that people reading it might have questions about. It is a topic that most people probably havent heard about, but i think i do a good enough job explaining what it is and what it does. The biggest weakness of my paper is that it is way too short. I have to work on expanding my work and possibly bringing more examples into my paper on how exactly my topic could affect people.

My Favorite Paper

I would have to say that my favorite paper i write was about the $78 million dollar bag (go figure right?). Anyways, it would have to be my favorite because i actually learned more about the topic than i previously knew. It really was shocking to find out how much money was wasted on such a minor issue. I guess you could say that i am passionate about the issue since i do think the laws against it are absolutely ridiculous. People look at the legalization of marijuana in all the wrong ways. They think when it becomes legal, all of a sudden everyone will always be high just because the fact its legal... which is not true at all. If crack suddenly became legal (for some reason) would you start doing it because its legal? No. Im sure nobody would.

Thinking Critically about Evidence

During that day in class, i was writing charts between two topics; The hidden costs of cell phone bills, and the legalization of marijuana. I barely even finished creating the chart for the cell phone topic because less than half way through i thought to myself "who the hell wants to read a paper about cell phone bills..?". I just quit at that point. After finishing the chart about marijuana, i was a little hesitant because it is completely over done. So once again, i came up with another topic. And this one i stuck with. I chose to write about Internet Piracy and the SOPA act.

-My strongest evidence would have to be explaining what SOPA  (Stop Online Piracy Act) exactly is and how it would effect everyone. This would have to be my strongest evidence because it is easily a topic that does honestly affect anyone that uses the internet.

-The weakest part of the argument might be that it might be too short. SOPA is a new bill that was proposed just this October and there isnt much detailed information about it.

Peer Review

Specifically i think peer review is a helpful step in writing a better paper. It helps the writer notice mistakes that he/she might not have seen while writing the draft. Its also a great tool to help the writer improve their paper. One way it can be improved is to make the peer review process longer. It seems to short and people do it as quickly as they can just to get it done. Some specific strengths are that it helps the writer find errors in the paper to help improve it. Something that could be considered as a weakness is that the peer review process is very short and seems its completed to just get it out of the way. I do think peer review is very helpful, but maybe get into groups of 3 that way there can be more feedback.

Patterns of Error

In my writing, i think i tend to make the mistake of wondering off the subject. Also, i might add things that are not really needed to be added just to make the paper longer. Next time while i write my draft i will work on getting the main points across first, then expanding on the subject so i can have the required length of the paper.

Argument Analysis

I chose "The $78 million bag" article. It is about how Cook County and the City spend over $78 million on arresting individuals with just possession of marijuana. John Fritchey, county commissioner, has finally realized how ridiculous that truly is. He is bringing up the idea of finally legalizing it to save the city money so it can be spent on something actually useful. The constant arrests cause prisons to get completely packed. About 23,000  arrests are made each year for possession and is the leading cause of arrest made by the CPD. Each arrest takes about 3 police hours in total from taking an individual to the station, locking him up, and completing all of the paperwork. This then accounts to over 84,000 police hours each year. Even the county commissioner, Larry Suffredin, states that each dollar that is spent on these arrests could be going toward more serious crimes. Cook County residents are paying at least $78 million a year to arrest and prosecute people caught carrying pot. And on top of that there is an extra $10 million spend to arrest, prosecute, and jail people for growing and selling.


This is the only article that actually caught my attention. I think its absolutely ridiculous that the government is still wasting millions of dollars on the "war on drugs". And the main drug is just pot. If the government finally just legalizes it, they will realize that millions of dollars that was previously wasted can now be used for something useful. As for the article itself, i feel it provides good evidence to support what is being said.

Reflecting Back

-Looking back to my first blog post, i believe that i have made improvements. I feel as if i have sort of a "routine" when it comes to writing assignments. I no longer procrastinate (as much). Also, with the help of this class, i feel as if i do not make as much errors when it comes to writing anymore. Writing drafts and having them evaluated has also helped a lot. That way i can get some feedback on my work and see areas where i need improvement.
-As for any changes in the class, i do not think that needs to happen. All assignments  are appropriate and not difficult to handle. Yes they may take some time, but if you focus on the work and keep to it, it really is not that bad.
-My writing process has not really changed much, but i noticed that i have learned to stay on track and keep focused more often. I started to write my essays early in the morning right when i wake up to help me keep on track. This way i don't tend to go watch tv or get distracted by something else.
-I do think my writing has improved. I now have a set routine that i know works for me. Also, just practicing  by writing the first drafts and then improving them with the final helps a lot as well.

Purpose: The purpose of this ad is to try and convince people how simple it is to put on their snowboard boot. It is so easy it only takes three steps ; Pull. Twist. Go. With other snowboarding boots you have to deal with tying the laces, which does takes a while.

Audience: I think its obvious that the target audience is all snowborders. This ad does not target any specific race, age, or ethnicity because anyone can snowboard.

Genre:  I would say this ad is pro-snowboarding because it shows that something like putting on boots can become even more simple. Like most snowboarding ads, there is a snowboarder in the background which may encourage some people to go out and try it.

Tone: The brownish, black, and orange colors set a warm tone. While it may not have the most vibrant colors, it does have an offset of black and white. Also, the orange kind of pops out from the white snow from the jumps.

Revisions

The biggest difference between my rough draft and my final paper is that its longer. Also, I added a few more details and events that i feel improved the paper. As for content, organization, focus, ect., that pretty much stayed the same. After revising my paper, i notice that i don't tend to explain everything that i bring up fully. I may give an example of something, but not explain what it means to me or why its important. Not only did the peer review help me revise my paper, but just reading through what i already had helped too. For my essay, i think the strongest point is the structure and detail. As for the weakest, it would have to be the focus. I tend to get off focus often and loose track.