Assignment #13

I think my essay has changed into a better one from peer review because once i got someone reading it other than me, i got very informative feedback and even more topics i can write about and expand my essay on. The process also gave me some difficulties on my thesis. I know it can easily be turned into a thesis that can have well over 12 pages wrtten on it, i just need help making a clear one. This is something that i was not surprised at because i always have difficulty making a clear thesis. Also, i was not surprised at feedback saying to make it longer. The problem i have with that is that i feel as if i could already explain everything with what i have. When i am revising it, i plan to find more sources. Hopefully some that go against my thesis, but so far i have yet to find any. Some questions i had in mind were on how i was going to expand it my essay because i am having trouble with that. Also, how would i be able to make a better thesis. That is probably what i am having the most problems with. And i also have questions on how to word my essay the right way to make sure it has a proper flow and doesnt seem like it starts things from random.